Rowdy Roundup (Nov 19-25)

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– Khadim ali Rizvi was arrested this week. He is reportedly safe and sound in protective custody save for a few carpet burns on his knees…

– Faisal Vawda did a mock application for the part of Dolph Lundgren in the new Universal Soldier movie at the Chinese consulate attack scene recently. His patriotism for his country and desperation for limelight are equally astounding

– After this incident, Moiz from the tv show ‘Capital 360’ also showed us how to tear a person a new exit opening on live tv! Commendable

– Speaking of the Chinese consulate attack news, the media went bonkers when they mistook our own soldiers for the terrorists when they saw them on the roof…they also reported and tried to suck up to the ladla really bad…Kyunke Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thee meaning (ads bund hain)

– Karachi is heaving a sigh of relief as illegal hoardings, shops and sign boards are being taken down In a massive drive by the KMC (aka MQM). Bicharae, first they were upsetting people by breaking the law and are now doing the same in order to uphold it

– Farooq bhai is starting a new phase in his life where nothing he says is taken seriously. Not to say that wasn’t the case earlier as well but seriously…what a miracle he is…

– Dhabbar doos Masood, the virtual arrester of many a badmashia, has now been arrested himself. He vows the government is coming after journalists. We wonder why he is behind bars if that is the actual case?

– More doctors have been prescribed to look after Showbaz’s health which seems to be deteriorating. Me thinks it’s the non-availability of Botox in the sub jail system that is causing this

– Our honorable chief justice wants the Supreme Court to tackle the population problem. I’m still wondering what the other 32 institutions of this country are doing?

– Reportedly, Chinese Steve Jobs Asad Umer has gone rogue and is not listening to anyone at all….we wonder what’s so new about this

– Instagram is full of Pakistani wedding parties aping Bollywood movies and their moves but we all hate India so so much
– Leaders of Sunni Tehreek have distanced themselves from the TLP’s call for country wide strikes…ye naubat agayee hay